Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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