If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
