I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
