its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
