And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
