She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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