I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
