yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ok first of all what the fuck
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