If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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