two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How does one acquire holy water?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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