nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
