Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
