You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize