i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
