did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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