Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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