You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
