Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fuck appropriateness.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
