I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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