Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize