i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
