K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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