I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize