I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
