i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
