I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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