We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
