My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
