This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
