I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
