when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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