alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize