Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
