She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
