he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
