Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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