I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
