Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
