Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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