I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
