he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
