he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
