Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize