I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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