Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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