Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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