I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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