I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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