eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
