what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
