dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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