Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
