Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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