dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
