oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
