Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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