We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Never joke about your clitoris.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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