Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
