I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
