I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it glows. i had to have it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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