Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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